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You can’t buy Girl Talk records at Wal-Mart or download Girl Talk songs from i Tunes; radio won’t play him.

And yet he is one of the biggest “alternative” live acts in the country, selling out more than a hundred shows last year in venues that held anywhere from 800 to 4,500, his legend spreading by word of mouth and, of course, on the now, an hour before his show began, Gillis was doing what, for him, amounts to tuning up.

He’s tall and skinny, in his late thirties, with long, stringy Axl Rose hair.Gregg couldn’t play an instrument, but that didn’t stop him from forming a band with his friend Joe. “We had a couple of keyboards and a cheap drum machine, and we were just pressing buttons and making noise,” Gillis says.“We had no concept of how to play.” At sparsely attended concerts on Gregg’s roof or in Joe’s backyard they performed dissonant, distorted cover versions of the theme song and Salt-N-Pepa’s “Push It” and squirted Silly String at the audience. That band was weird, but not weird enough for Gregg and Joe, so they started an experimental side project called the Joysticks Battle the Clip-On Expressway to Your Skull. To understand the scenario, you’ve got to be able to picture Scheid. Also, each night you spend most of the concert onstage next to the guy and his laptop, which has its pluses and minuses, the pluses being the eighty or so amped-up young people up there with you the whole time, a lot of them cute girls, all jumping up and down and sweating and taking off various articles of clothing and occasionally singing, en masse and at the top of their lungs, lyrics like But there’s one part of the job David Scheid just can’t get comfortable with, and that’s the five minutes each night where it falls to him to instruct the local security crew on the details of working a Girl Talk show.

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