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Being able to build relationships with strangers is a critical part of networking in general.

To take a recent example: if you’re hoping to make professional connections at a convention, the place to do so isn’t on the con floor, it’s at the then you need to know how to start making friends with total strangers in a place where you have next to no social support.

So one day his current girlfriend finds the box and just Hey guys, did you see the fight outside?

[Pause for reply ] So check this out, these two dudes come barreling out the front door.

The most famous is the “jealous girlfriend” opener: “Hey guys, my friends and I were arguing about something and we need an outside opinion: would you date somebody who’s still friends with their ex?

[Pause for reply] Check this out, so my buddy is still pretty tight with his ex-girlfriend. And he’s got this box of little mementos and photos and crap – you know, like souvenirs from the past relationship.

Now, here’s the dirty little secret about openers: .

Cold approaches are when you’re meeting someone you have no social connection with; unlike with a warm approach, you’re meeting a complete and total stranger without even the “friend-of-a-friend” buffer to ease your way. So here are some tough truths about making cold approaches: they can be difficult, especially if you’re trying to hook up that night.

The other problem is that it’s to get stuck on the opener.

If you’re already shy or dealing with approach anxiety, it can feel comfortable to stick with the conversation you already have going on instead of trying to shift gears… You have to be willing to cut a conversational thread and move on to an actual conversation if you go indirect.

For another, not everyone you’re going to be attracted to or want to meet is going to be within the expected six-degrees-of-separation that warm approaches bring.

There will be plenty of times when you will find some hot stranger with no connection to your life – the girl who sits across from you in your Conversational Spanish class, the gorgeous woman with the pouty lips you see every week at Whole Foods, the cute bookworm browsing the Fantasy/Sci-Fi section of Barnes And Noble.

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