A few weeks into dating my wife, we were talking on the phone when she mentioned that she had enjoyed "hanging out" with me.I wasn't sure what she meant by that, but I was afraid that she might have misunderstood my intentions — I mean, when I'm "hanging out" with friends, I don't pay for their meal, wear my Friday night best, or gently touch their back while crossing the street.
Your words will still matter very much, but to breathe new life into phrases like “I love you” and “You’re beautiful,” you’ll have to practice the art of thankless chores, unconditional forgiveness, unconditional apologies, random acts of sweetness, and spiritual leadership, to name a few.
Say something — anything to let her know you're not just looking for another friendship (and not over text, email or Facebook — do I really have to say that? And when the two of you start spending more time together, and she makes it clear the feeling is mutual, don't stop there.
It's going to take some work to win a woman over — huge investments of time, money and humility.
So I said, "If you don't mind me asking, what do you think this relationship is? I'm not sure where this relationship is ultimately going, but when I meet a woman who is as beautiful, intelligent and spiritually mature as you, I don't spend time with her so that I can make a new 'friend.' I've got plenty of those. I just want to make sure you understand that." "Oh," she said, seeming taken aback by my forwardness.
" "I guess I would call it a really special friendship," she said. I knew it wasn't a perfect execution, but it was a vast improvement from the days when I would have freaked her out with some over-the-top, premature diatribe about pursuing marriage.