While your instincts about him or her may not be wrong, you may not know the full picture.A lot of girls have said they appreciated their moms taking the time to understand why that person was important to her.Not to mention that for the moms, viewing the person through their daughters' eyes helped ease some of their concerns.Teen counselor Suzanne Bonfiglio Bauman is one of the trusted go-to experts in the Ask Elizabeth world.I know you probably want to pull your hair out knowing your daughter's friend doesn't deserve her, or are wishing that her boyfriend would just move to another city (or country... Unfortunately, there's no magic dust I can send you to make that person go away, but I can give you some suggestions from our amazing Ask Elizabeth girls and experts on how to deal with the situation.
On the one hand, because you're such a protective and loving mom, you probably want to barricade the front door and not let that person within 10 feet of your precious girl (believe me, when I've heard girls in workshops talk about bad news boyfriends or mean friends, I've felt the exact same way! But at the same time, you don't want to go too far and drive a wedge between the two of you. When I received this question from a Huff Post reader, it took me back to two particular times when my own mom and I were facing this issue.
For teen girls, their friends are their entire universe, and how you approach or question their choices about their friends can either open up a deeper dialogue between you or cause them to shut down completely.
I get how hard it must be not to want to yell, "" or to unilaterally ban the person from your daughter's life.
But this kind of absolute approach almost always backfires.
I remember one story that a mom shared during a workshop that broke my heart.