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I believe it may have ricocheted off my hand, because someone handed me the bouquet (now that I think of it, I realize I was, in fact, the next to get married).This bouquet toss experience was illuminated when I reviewed responses to the open-ended question “At what age or stage of life do you feel is the optimal time to get married and why?They do not leave their futures—including their marriages—up to chance, but instead proceed through life in a very intentional manner.Many have delayed receiving their relatively high incomes for several years to pursue graduate degrees.I thought he was cute, and funny, and he was a jazz musician, so we shared that common interest that was not necessarily common among the other friends that I had. Though maturity (not always age) may nave a large role in maritial success, as an attorney who does a lot of divorce work, I am always concerned when friends and family want to move in and/or get married too quickly.When we finally did get close to settling down I already knew that he and I were compatible as individuals—what I required from him was the promise that he was really ready to be committed to the intensity of a serious relationship (we had broken up a few times, mostly because he felt unready to be serious..so surprising considering how young we were, and [in] retrospect, the times we had apart from each other were very valuable, they allowed us to do more “growing up” on our own before getting married). I know a very nice woman who got engaged to what seems like a nice guy within 4 months of starting dating, and they will be married around the one year mark.We might even see a parallel between indulging in the cocaine-like high of falling in love with a string of unsuitable partners, and taking ecstasy, because both decrease the range of maximum pleasure capacity in all future cases. New York, NY: Touchstone Press (a division of Simon & Schuster), p. Especially if they choose to have multiple children which would increase her age at birth for the later ones.The results of the , and the research of several widely cited demographers, suggests, in contrast to Crittenden’s assertion, that any association between age and capacity to love or to create a beautiful, sustainable marriage is utter nonsense. Estimated Median Age at First Marriage, by Sex: 1890 to Present (Internet release date: September 15, 2004). Does the 3.6 year average time dating before marriage (from Lifestyle poll) include the engagement period? Any data out there on average length of engagement stage before marriage?

Plus you can usually afford a better wedding and honeymoon. You have had “fun” as a young adult, established your independence socially and professionally, and you really know yourself better.But if I were to peg an age, it would probably be around 30—old enough to know yourself, but young enough to grow with someone.• I think the best time to get married is when you are in a good place emotionally, professionally, personally, financially because by then it should be clear to you that you are able to do great on your own, but life is just that much sweeter married to this one person.As illustrated above, the clear consensus in the open-ended responses in the participants to wait until the late 20s or early 30s before marrying fits with clear consensus in the literature. This will be her second marriage, the first divorce being filed less than 6 months after the wedding. I agree with this, however, my curiosity is about having children in this situation.Author Danielle Crittenden warns that “by waiting and waiting and waiting to commit to someone, our capacity for love shrinks and withers.”** Crittenden's statement could apply well to the experience of diminishing returns when individuals pursue a series of dead-end relationships. What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman. If women make it a goal to wait until age 30 to settle down, then wait an additional 3.5 years to get married, and THEN start having children, then they would be increasing their chance of birth defects.

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