Early dating gifts
In addition, a woman's home and schooling might limit her exposure to certain men. 163) reports a 19th century woman's derision of a neighbor's daughter whose marriage to an Army officer "was because her mother and brother never took the trouble to have a suitable home for her, and bring into it, the class of young men, whom after all they would have liked her to marry." -The home of a woman's family was both the meeting and screening ground for her future marriage prospects.Upper middle class families also tried to provide their daughters with an education at a "proper" school where they could meet "appropriate" members of the other sex.Whereas courtship involves socializing with the intention of marriage (Rothman 1984, p.23), dating is recreational and involves no commitment beyond the occasion of the date (Winch 1968).Men were potentially able to use money and presents to obtain sexual "favors" from women, while women were potentially able to use their sexuality to "gold-dig" money and gifts from men.According to his "principle of least interest," the party least interested in perpetuating the relationship was best able to exploit the other.However, perhaps due to the crass associations of exchanging money and gifts for the attentions and sexual favors of prostitutes, mistresses, gigolos, and gold-diggers, research on Western dating has largely ignored the monetary and material aspects of these relationships. DATING AND COURTSHIP The role of material possessions in early middle class American courtship practices was not so much in impressive gift-giving as in displaying command of the resources for providing comfort and earning a living. 24) explains: Before a man could marry, he had to possess the means to support a wife and children....
Unlike before when I viewed dates and gift giving an investment, I was now making decisions about buying from my heart instead of my head.
I spent so much money on the girl that I had to quit school for a quarter and work full time. In America, money seems to have taken a big role in dating. Like the Beatles song, I believe strongly that "money can't buy me love".
True love is developed through true friendship and trust, and generosity is only one of those features.... I guess I find it difficult to separate love from money.
I bought her all kinds of things such as stuffed animals, clothing, and jewelry.
Coon (1991) ,"Can't Buy Me Love: Dating, Money, and Gifts", in NA - Advances in Consumer Research Volume 18, eds. I had an overwhelming desire to shower the girl with gifts.