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The answer—how you go home with someone without panicking—is so obvious, SCARED, that I'm guessing your therapist has already suggested it: Have sex with someone you know and trust.

But it may help you feel a little better about having to make an investment in someone before becoming intimate—which really isn't the worst thing in the world—if you can remind yourself that you aren't alone.

Demisexuals, other victims of trauma, people with body-image issues, people whose sexual interests are so stigmatized they don't feel comfortable disclosing them to people they've just met—lots of people face the same challenge you do.

You didn't have any issues having sex with your ex because you knew and trusted him.

For your own emotional safety, and to avoid recovery setbacks, you're going to have to find someone willing to get to know you—someone willing to make an emotional investment in you—before you can have sex again.

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